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FUN FACTS ABOUT GEOFF (part of a continuing series) - Ignoring the lessons of Serenity, once Geoff said "I'm a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar." Shortly thereafter, the car he was driving hydroplaned, on the Beltway, as he was merging at night. It was めっちゃ あぶね～え but like the Nightwish song, he lived to tell the tale! (did he wish he had an angel? A DIFFERENT STORY)
- Once Geoff made "Red Potato Puree", following instructions he found in a boke of cokery! The recommendation - use five small red potatoes in conjunction with 1/4 cup of lemon juice for an excellent, slightly sour, side for grilled fish! Geoff's doing - use five medium-large red potatoes in conjuction with 3/16 cup of lemon juice (1.5 lemon equivalent). The result? Mashed potatoes that tasted just like lemons. It was subtle like a shovel to the face.
- Once Geoff started reading mangas online he found he couldn't stop! HE COULDN'T STOP.
- Once, Geoff realized that he could add 必 to the front of any word for fun and profit! So, while you can do things like talk about 必勝 (Certain Victory!) or 必死 (Certain Death!) or 必殺 (Certain Kill!), you can also talk about 必祭 (Certain Party! - use to describe your spring break in conjunction with future tense). AND THUS DID GEOFF REALIZE THAT COMPOUND WORDS ARE BURVIGS.
- Once Geoff & Dags were in Washington DC, home of tiny ponies and the Tyrannosaurus Rex (bones only), and they saw a group called Only Men Aloud, who are a Welsh choir! They performed a song, and the name of the song was "MacArthur Park". Later that very day - they performed a song named "Don't Rain on my Parade". IT THEN RAINED ON OUR INTREPID HEROES.
- Geoff may very well graduate in a year! After that, what will happen to him? Will he starve to death, or become a hero of the common man? Are these goals mutually exclusive?
Do your toenails grow after death? OR does your skin contract, exposing previously hidden nail, providing the masterful illusion of further growth? THE SHADOW KNOWS.
What to do? 5 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
Operation: MAN-DATE of HEAVEN - great success! DJ and I saw Transformers: Robots and Explosions the Movie, and it was robots and explosions, just as the title promised! Other things that were in it included PSI UPSILON yeah that's right my fraternity was in a big-time movie. Unfortunately, the movie indicates we're dudes who pop our collars. Some things are just movie magic! But yeah, Transformers was 2.5 hrs of robots and explosions, and if you like either of those you should go watch it! If you expect tiny humans to do anything significant in the face of giant robots, well you're crazy, but maybe this time you won't be so disappointed.
Later I came home and my laptop was like Geofffffffffffff something horrible lives in me~ and then a horrible monster burst into the room wearing the skin of Windows Firewall! But system restore defeated it: MAYBE!?
And now what time is it? FOUR.
And under the weight of voodoo, I have buckled.
Still haven't - burned you a cd
- written you an email about feelings
- unpacked my laundry from PA
Have - Discharged final Christmas present, 6 months late.
What to do? Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
Two things. - "This is what Mother warned me about. I'll get a concussion. I'll fall down in some convulsions, and my body won't be found until a dog drags some part of me onto somebody's farm. Probably the circumcised part of me, and they'll have to call in a mohel to identify it. Definitely the boy Itzak Shlomo - on your records as Ivan Petrovich Smetski. A good runner, but apparently not bright enough to look out for trees. Sorry, but he was too stupid to go on living. That's just the way natural selection works. And Father would shake his head and say, He should have been in Israel, where there are no trees."
- Enchantment, Orson Scott Card. - I AM A BROTHER OF PSI UPSILON
AND I SHALL DEFECATE WHERE I PLEASE
What to do? Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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Here's the important details of the dream - evil gods of death (死神 hurrrr) set up a base of operation in TJ, and my true identity as one of the people dedicated to their end was revealed when the bandana rode up, revealing something on my forehead. A lighting-shape scar? A 3D effect cross? A third eye? Never revealed, and I couldn't see it (it was on my friggin' forehead). ANYWAY the moral of the dream was clear! The moral is to never show my true self to anyone, lest I be attacked by evil gods of death.
PRIOR TO THAT, Dags and I went to TJ to see what was up with the shanty that was being built in the back, and security at TJ was like HEY what are you clowns doing here? UP TO NO GOOD I'D HAZARD. The point of this story is that security in my high school has tightened substantially, to the point where I've been picked up by security every time I've been back this summer! (once to volunteer, once to stare at the shanty) I guess it's true what they say, you can't go back (you can never go back). Also maybe TJ is now the demesne of evil gods of death WHO'S TO SAY? Fortunately he didn't see my forehead.
GOTTA MAKE A MIX CD UGH and the theme of it is GOING AWAY, so HOLD ME TO THAT.
Coming up - going to Pitt's Burgh and then UNIONTOWN for my parent's friends' 50th wedding anniversary :O So if you call me and say GEOFF I can't live without you anymore come! COME TO MY SIDE! well that's going to be a even more of a problem than it usually is, a little 困っている if you will. Unrelatedly, lookitme lookitme I'm cutting Japanese into English again! I'M SO GREAT. (見て見て、もう一度俺は日本語と英語を混ぜてる。俺がぜったい一番すげええええええええ)
This icon is strangely hypnotic.
Do you want to fight? Do you want to win? Or do you want to live? Which is it?
What to do? 2 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
I have had an idea, and this is the thrust (teehee) of it.
The coroner is dead - we think.
Obviously, there's no way to tell for sure, because the only man who could correctly diagnose the situation (the coroner) is dead! MAYBE. You see very quickly the plots that suggest themselves! - The cop, who has to solve this mystery before the killer strikes again. But who's the killer? How did the coroner die? Was he poisoned, stabbed, old age, hit by a truck? NOBODY KNOWS. He's out of leads and he's out of time.
- The man who did "the deed" (here poorly elaborated upon), and now on the run from the law, who must prove that he *didn't* kill the coroner i.e. that the man still lives!
- The wife of the coroner (the husband of the coroner?) who promptly abducts the corpse (or what might be a corpse) and spends the rest of the story wheeling him around in a wheelchair, variably cheerfully determined that he's still alive and resigned to his death.
I initially figured these would be two different plots, variations on the same theme (like how both Pinnochio and Blade Runner ask the question What is it to be a man, but arrive at their destinations very differently), but then I thought about Moon Over Buffalo, which is great, and I'm wondering if these plots could be interwoven with each other. Deuce, there could even be multiple simultaneous instances of the the second plot, where there's a guy who accidentally shot the coroner, and a guy who served him a beverage, and discovered after the coroner left that the bottle of Drano, kept next to the hooch, had been recently opened. That might be beyond human comprehension though - best keep that on the d/l (down-low) for the tambien. But I thought of Moon Over Buffalo, and that's what important! (still trying to riddle out how I could include a love triangle, which is NECESSARY - ideally one of those nightmarish Shakespeare polygons that only works because half of the cast is cross-dressing) Another man could make this a touching story about how much we let our roles define us (here, nobody can make the diagnosis of death because nobody left is a coroner). Another man! Another time, another place, another rhyme, a warm embrace. Unrelated: Fruit Gushers taste like crayons and they're terrible. There are people who will tell you otherwise, but let's remember that there are people who will tell you candy corn is terrible! The fact is there are people who delight in spreading malicious lies.
What to do? 1 happy marriage! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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Operation: Grill some Lamb was going pretty okay when suddenly
NO MORE PROPANE.
Moral of the story - you can bake potatoes on the grill, but if you do, it will use all of your propane and then you will be unable to finish grilling the meat! And the girl will rub your shoulders and say shh it's okay it happens to a lot of guys and you'll be like NOT TO UNCLE SAM. Powerful medications will be taken, and you will throw that football through that tire. Nowhere will you pause and say to yourself "Hey how does she know that it happens to a lot of guys what has she been reading :O"
I've moved away from what I was originally saying, which was that I was barbecuing some food and I ran out of propane. On the other hand, I have now made stuffed baked potatoes! They're crazy! I was going to say they're as crazy as devilled eggs, but when you devil eggs you put exciting stuff back in, like anchovy paste, and chopped bacon, and bullets [from a revolver]. Stuffed baked potatoes were mashed potatoes: in potato skins.
Other things I did today: drove into a wall! Well more like tried to turn a corner, was prevented from this by a wall. So now my dad's car has a dent and is missing paint! And I'm the worst boy in the world. On the other hand, I KEEP LISTENING to Blind Guardian's cover of Surfin' USA and it's great because about 1/3 of the way through the song they stop drumming and start just having a big, noisy machine that they turn on when they need to bring the noize. On ANOTHER hand, I got lemon juice on a cut on my hand! It stung ;_; On the next hand, I got some heavy stitching and heavy fabric and BROUGHT THE PAIN on those holes in my panties! (properly: "pants". cannot add diminutive ending without changing meaning) On a subsequent hand, I found my Japanese banner of the Ten Commandments of Health! (they all follow 少X多Y, so they're like "Less cars, more walk," "Less meat, more vegetables"). On one more hand, there's something weird happening with my right (dominant) hand - striations on the fingers like the grain of wood, and the pads have eroded from my middle and ring finger, which subsequently have developed tough, cuticle-like skin. On that latter hand, today was nice and sunny! A good day to be outside.
And on the final hand, my secret is out. How long have I been an octopus? you ask me. As long as you've known me. You should have realized it when I could squeeze into any place with a diameter no smaller than my eyeball. It should have been obvious when I demonstrated that I could open jars, and have a malevolent intelligence. Also - when we kissed, and I tore up your face pretty bad because I have a beak (unyielding and designed to destroy) instead of lips (oddly sensitive).
YOU FOOLS.
RADIO EDIT: This is a RAP ABOUT ARLINGTON that Enrique found because he is beautiful.
What to do? 9 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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Guys I have been wearing bandanas since the ninth grade (I got my first one right after Lock-In - it was a desert camo motif). Deborah tried to show me that there was a way to tie the bandana that was 男らしい and manly and distinct from how a lady ties her bandana? But the fact remains that sometimes Deborah lied to me, in those days. So, the way I've been folding it has been a corner-corner halving fold. But the internet, the other day, recommended that I try instead doing a one-quarter fold! So, instead of decreasing surface area by 50%, a mere 12.5%! I was suspicious at first, but I tried it and IT'S SO GOOD. The paisley pattern means that now I look like I have a little tiara! AND THAT MEANS I'M A PRINCESS.
Anyway, did you take apart a grill and put together a grill today? I don't think you did! But I DID. I took my vorpal wrench (yes it can decapitate people SHUT UP) and four screwdrivers and did battle with bolts rusted shut for thirteen years. It was a long, hard battle - parts where I TORE METAL APART (I'm the best), parts where my mighty hands held the bolts in place as I undid them, and parts where I used a hacksaw to cut bolts (hacksaws are RIDICULOUS :OOO) My hands were covered in kitty litter, briquette residue, and RUST RUST RUST (we decided to replace the grill because the "grate" wasn't so much "holding food" as it was "crumbling apart" and we were in fear that it would "drop our food onto the fire" and we would "not eat") and I did it all without a shirt because I'm a MAN (ladies can also do things without a shirt but that's scandalous :O). Maybe I have a sunburn! Maybe I have West Nile! (I certainly have bugbites ;_;) Then I came inside and drank a soda and ate a pickle! The soda was Mountain Dew Voltage, which is a cheerful sky-blue. The pickle was, uh, a pickle.
THEN I found this neat Yachiru icon (Yachiru is great) and made a livejournal post! WITH CARRIAGE RETURNS BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS. NOW I must away to get some bell peppers and then to cook things - BY BARBEQUE. High times! HIGH TIMES!
AHHHHHHHHH what was in that mountain dew AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I like how the browser's spellcheck understands that I want to impart a manic sense to people who read this, and is correcting my spelling when I accidentally leave out a capital letter (sometimes I just hold down the shift and type the word instead of capslock - shift is manual transmission cool) to all caps. This computer and me, we understand each other maybe!
RADIO EDIT (1:21AM) - There's a manga, it's called Addicted to Curry, and it's amazing. That's what I say.
What to do? 11 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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<soapbox>
Look, here is the best justification I have for why I get angry when people say "irregardless". It's the spoken equivalent of lettuce in somebody's teeth. Is it harmful? No! You can live your life 100% normally even if everybody around you has lettuce in their teeth. Does it prevent proper function? No! People can chew perfectly fine with crap stuck in their teeth. You understand that "irregardless" means "regardless", just like how "teeth with lettuce" function like "teeth". So what's the big hairy deal?
My big deal is that ir- is a well-advertised, well-known prefix (irrelevant, irrational, irregular, irrefutable, irreparable, and so on). Whenever you see it, it serves the same general purpose. And here, the purpose is ignored. It's like designing your house with a toilet bolted to your ceiling. You see toilets every day. You know what they're used for. But now you have a useless thing. (I have a great idea for a painting now, and it is a picture of a man, hands at his fly, gazing forlornly at a toilet mounted to the ceiling. the title is "irregardless")
It stinks like you're talking faster than you think. The fallacy of the prefix is obvious.
It's a purposeless thing.
I hate the word "irregardless"
(people say "okay well what if it means "without lack of regard", and I say okay so the word you are looking for is either "therefore", which serves to indicate that your previous sentence is important to your next sentence, or possibly "regarding". double negatives don't corrupt meanings, but neither do arbitrarily long strings of "very")
</soapbox>
Other things? Shoot. I'm pretty proud of how I'm using html input for this entry but I made the < and > characters display correctly! (The sin of pride, the demon cried)
Kept watching Bleach! I like it. And as long as I keep watching it, I can keep at bay thoughts of sadness! ("This guy is a hero, why can't I be a hero?") And maybe you think there is a better lead theme than Ichirin no Hana but that's because you're wrong, and your opinion is stupid.
閉じ掛けた気持ち覇気出せば
痛みも苦しいもすべてを受け止めるよ
だから、泣かないで
笑っていて一厘の花
I like lyrics more than I like music, is the secret of my madness.
AND STAYING UP IS BETTER THAN SLEEPING
(no word on the park job application which is now tennish days old)
What to do? 13 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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Bloodstains on tie-dye! I think that's pretty funny. UNRELATEDLY need to figure out why sometimes there are scabs on my head, which bleed onto tie-dye. BUT FIRST, THE MYSTERY OF PIRATE'S COVE.
Also, my best pants ("best" is a relative statement) are shot through with holes! To refresh, these pants are green cargo pants that have no less than two patches on each knee. As usual for these pants, where I seal a hole, a new one breaks above the patch within eight or so weeks, so I gotta fix that. But it gets worse! The strain of holding my fat butt in has finally mastered them and now there's a hole in the back all the boys will see my bum oh no :( HOWEVER this represents a chance (チャンス IF YOU WILL) for me to have words on my butt (by putting word on the patch (why couldn't i have written directly on the fabric? you ask too many questions))! Like how sometimes you see girls wearing green sweatpants that have PINK written on the seat of them (this destroys me) - also, words like "juicy" and "cutie" and "immanentize the eschaton". You know what I'm talking about. You've been stuck behind slow-walking people too. SO. I'm thinking 痩せ我慢 would be pretty sweet (if it means, as they assert, "to endure for the sake of one's pride", here enduring a patch) or alternately 尻隠さず (from 頭隠して、尻隠さず, "cover your head and cover your ass") or I could just have a patch I guess and not be a jerk.
Unrelatedly, Poland caused WWII, so look out for Poland.
Also I've been watching Bleach, finally (this is the summer where I watch things that everybody's already seen and moved on from), and it has struck me. Bleach is following a Harry Potter model of procession (Harry Potter follows a Bleach procession? NO IT ALL COMES BACK TO ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE). That is - first part (short) is "Wow, the world of wizards is so magical!" and follies along that line, and the second part is POLITICAL INTRIGUE. And I can't stop watching it :(
What to do? 2 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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The two dried peas rattling around in my skull are "Retreat, and you'll grow old," and "Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse."
They look pretty similar on the surface, but I can't help but parse the first one as a threat (don't retreat, or you'll grow old), and the last one as a curse (don't retreat; die now). The power of language, to make such subtle distinctions.
Youth may or may not be wasted on the young, but fools write off the value of age.
I'd like to do something with languages, maybe, because languages are fun. However, even as we speak, Google is designing machines to basically replace human translators. If I recall the numbers correctly, army-tested speech translators have something like a 65% accuracy rate, where a really good translator can manage something like 80% truth of signal? And that's just current-gen stuff. Plus, machines offer a neutral standpoint, which is apparently a problem with human translators. ( Old Joke ) Pretty soon, why would you even need a second language? (answer: same reason why you need to know arithmetic despite the infiltration of our society with calculators)
IN CONCLUSION, every day the future grows muddier. At this rate, I will grow up to dig ditches.
UGH gotta stop being fat and sad, this is no way for a president to be. Leaders must be invincible champions. That's the law. Their black hands protect the peace of the new-borns, &c, &c.
Unrelatedly, how many of you have such contempt for popcorn! I'm dismayed. I thought popcorn was something everyone agreed on. But I've been wrong before, too.
What to do? Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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In other news, the White House set up official translations for the speech that the president just gave in Cairo. It's been translated into fifteen different languages (at the time of this, three were still marked "in progress"). There are, naturally, translations into Arabic, French, Indonesian, Malay, Pashto - since one of the thrusts of the speech deals with Islam, it makes sense to translate it into Islamic-accessible languages. There's Chinese and Russian up too - okay, that's all of the UN Security Council languages (we can lump French in there too if you didn't buy the Islamic argument).
There is no Japanese translation, but I can understand that. There is, however, no Spanish translation, which strikes me as odd - especially considering that there is a Portuguese translation.
AIRLINE PEANUTS AM I RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
( Small questions I'd like your answers on )
It's always pretty weird to me when people say man Geoff you're eccentric or offbeat or crazy~ Everything I do makes sense to me.
I NICE TRY NO SONG LYRICS HERE
What to do? 6 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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So, our grill is thirteen years old, and one of the consequences of it is that the inbuilt lighter doesn't work anymore! How do you get the grill to light, then, you ask! (not with sincerity, mostly you're being polite) Well the key is you turn on the gas and you shut the grill and you let it build up. Then, you put the lighter into a vent in the side and light it! The trick is it takes a while? Apparently the grill needs to fill. There are vents very close to the gas output so they leak propane, so the whole assembly stinks like a gas leak, but the propane tank exhales faster than the grill leaks, so overall there's buildup in the system. So you stand there, stinking like gas, and every so often you try the lighter again. And it doesn't work, it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and then twelve cubic feet of propane catches. There's this sound ("whoomp"), followed by another sound ("clank"), and a subsequent sound ("chitterchitterchitter") - that's the sound of the gas igniting and blowing the lid off the grill, the lid falling back on the grill, and the kitty-litter in the bottom that absorbs the drippings being blown out of the vents, in that order. Wakes you up like coffee can't.
In the meantime, books from the library tell me how to build exciting things, like revolving shelves and a deck? And jigsaws. It doesn't tell me how to *build* a jigsaw, but certainly gives me things I could use a jigsaw to build! But just like how nobody speaks Japanese, nobody needs things like this book tells me how to build. So, basically what I'm saying is that I borrowed a book of woodworking porn from the library. It sounds bad if you say it like that, though. But that's how I roll (need my help? NAW)
Anyway, in D&D there's a template called "Riddling" which is generally meant to be applied to dragons? But Mafro and I applied it to a TYRANNOSAURUS REX. What this means for you is that if you can beat this tyrannosaur on an opposed knowledge check, he is stunned for 1d10 rounds as he considers your answer. Basically, this is Qwantz: the Dungeons and Dragons encounter. We also came up with Tyrannosaurus Fey, which is a tyrannosaurus who has beautiful butterfly wings, and the power to enthrall you. What this means is that a dinosaur drops out of the sky, roars, and you spend 1d3 rounds discussing the precise meaning of the roar. It's great, I think. But don't take my word for it! What do OTHER people say? Let's go to the phones!
Ms. Q___ : that was okay but not very funny really
i'm sorry you suck
Ladies and gentlemen, the voices of the people!
A VIDEO which is an object lesson in the fleeting nature of life and the importance of optimism. Also - saxophone solo.
Anyway, have you ever had one of those days where there are ants inside of your laptop? Because maybe I have. I don't know why an ant would hide inside of my keyboard and explore the monitor, but there were like ten or twelve of them - THAT I FOUND (bum bum BAAAAAHM). What were they doing? Why were they inside my laptop? Have they discovered that I keep honey in my CD drive for secret eating? SO MANY QUESTIONS.
What to do? 13 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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Chirley would have me believe that you shouldn't bring a shovel to a club, lest you embarrass your confederates! And Chato would have me believe this is completely within standard clubbing procedure! I maintain that I am on the side of right, because I was recently told by a wise old man that there are a few things you should always have with you, and they are duct tape and a shovel (the followup line was "You never know when you'll have to bury something") SO I guess if I ever go clubbing I'll have to compromise and bring a folding shovel, which can be collapsed and hidden so my shyer confederates face no humiliation. The next issue - how I will "wow" all the boys with my dancing techniques, when I don't dance! I know exactly which face you're making.
Apart from that I am still unemployed and ugly (called Petco today about my job application, was told that when they said they "had an opening," they actually meant "it is possible at some unspecified time in the future that we may have an opening"), but I'm going to be helping set up a CONVENTION (quilting) and maybe make some fat stacks of お金 or maybe more to the tune of "I can pay dues for the semester that I'll be president" WHO KNOWS. Or maybe they'll just passive-aggressively never call back. WHEE.
I, uh, still smell, and I have a hat that is pretty cunning! Man walks down a street wearing this hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
I sewed a lining for my crummy bag! Now anything that would penetrate it must destroy two layers of cloth. I am the smartest, and I should have a cunning hat to befit my office hey would you look at that.
Once again my plan to get back on a regular sleep schedule has apparently been derailed. CURSES. I do things like read Zombie Hunters instead of sleeping. Maybe you should do this too! And then you and I would be the same. And then the world would come crashing to an end, as I spread like a virus across the face of the globe, a meme torn from the darkest corner of Richard Dawkins' imagination. But maybe that won't happen! EXPERIMENT.
I have headphones in, but rarely listen to things on the computer. One of the best parts of this is, every so often there's interference from my cell phone? And I can hear that. The interference is apparently not related to calls (at least, there's not a 1:1 ratio of interference to call), so that's a thing.
What to do? 6 happy marriages! or Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
Picked up a pamphlet at the church, and it held one of the ways to live a cleaner life is a well-defined sleep time. Wake up on time, get up immediately. After all, if you can't discipline yourself right from the start of the day, why do you think you'll be able to set the next sixteen hours in order? Good advice, I mused. Good advice, at 3:20PM in the afternoon. And here I am now.
I'm a leaf on the wind, as it were.
What to do? Let's get married 'KAY! or Remember me or Tell a Friend or Ever after. I guess!
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